Un-pause

Previously I had mentioned that we were going to start trying for baby #2.  Well... that was derailed and then put on pause by the manfolk's dying and being revived and then being stuck in a hospital.  

Now that he has had three months worth of follow-ups and things seem to be back on track (if he doesn't get selfish and start back to his old ways) we are going to start again. 

We had a lot more sex before this whole thing went down so we will see how it goes.  He has recently had to come to grips with the fact that he is human and not 18 anymore and it has taken a toll on his libido. 

His doc was impressed when he went in after he got out of the hospital and told him that the day before he went in we had had sex three times.  Not bad for a 40 year old married dude. 

But it hasn't been that way since and I miss it. 

A man wanting a woman makes the woman feel sexy. When that goes away (especially when we used to have it all of the time) it is damaging to the ego. 

But what do you do?  Pressure the guy?  Not so much. 

So I wait patiently-ish and hope it comes back. 

Control of my body

After #2 I believe we will be done having kids and I can work on getting my body back. It’s like a giant train wreck right now. I shook my head before at moms who said they wanted a ‘mom job’ from a plastic surgeon after they had their kids and now I can kind of understand (though I’m not to that point personally). Kids destroy your body. All of it, especially the parts that are used to sustain them (BOOBS!). The scale may say the same weight as before, but your body just isn’t right. It’s crazy. Celebrities are making us all look bad when they come out with a post baby body that looks like nothing happened just weeks after having a kiddo. Not everyone has a personal trainer, a chef and nannies (to watch the kid while you find time to work out) – killing me. Every spare minute I have that isn’t working is dedicated to seeing my kiddo, working out is the last thing on my mind.

Trying and trying again

Well, we like being parents so much we are striking out and trying again. The manfolk has always wanted “bookends” (because he and his brother are just 11 months apart and they benefited from it growing up) for his kids too. I’m excited about it, just worried about the financial aspect of it all (babies are expensive). And above all … trying is fun! Seriously, everyone should have as much sex as they can with the person they love all of the time. Trying for babies or not. I know men who only get lovins when they are trying to make babies and therefore they are willing to try to make babies. Sad stuff.

More tiny tot advice

A continuation of an earlier post... 

· OshKosh clothes run small

· Baby spit up can stain anything

· A chair that rocks is a good thing to have in the house. We didn’t get a glider, but our hand-me-down recliners happen to rock

· We have found that the changing pads (usually come with a diaper bag or sold as a ‘changing station’) are nearly useless (slippery and too small and take up a lot of space in your bag), you are better off to have a receiving blanket in your diaper bag that you can throw down wherever and rotate out frequently.

· It is rare that a men’s room has a changing table in public places

· When baby comes keep the following on hand: baby first aid/grooming kit (red cross makes a couple), Vick’s Baby Rub (must have for congestion, you put it on their feet under socks and it works like a champ), baby Tylenol (we haven’t had to use this one yet)

Top 15 Babies Things (0-3 months)

A couple of my friends are pregnant and have asked for registering advice.  They seemed to like this so I thought I'd share it with the world. 

Some of this we got new, some of it was hand-me-down – these are my top 15 things for the first three months:

• An extra infant car seat base for the second vehicle
• Pack and play with changing table on top
• Multiple diaper bags with lots of pockets (and room for your stuff so you don’t have to walk around looking like a bag lady when you take the baby out)
• We use 4 or 6 ply cloth diapers as burp cloths. (The stuff at some of the baby stores labeled as burp cloths are kind of useless – the diapers work like a champ)
• Philips Avent Soothie Pacifiers (http://www.amazon.com/Avent-Free-Soothie-Pacifier-Pack/dp/B0053KKPZ2/ref=sr_1_2?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1352233976&sr=1-2&keywords=avent+soothie)
• Fisher-Price Cruisin' Motion Soother Bouncer (bouncer imitates car movement and our little man loves it – some babies prefer swings or regular bouncers)
• Beaudraux’s Buttpaste
• A cheap microwave bottle steamer and BIG drying rack (we got the Dr. Brown one because it fit the bottles, they are like $25-30 each)
• Angelcare Monitor (has a sensor pad underneath the little one’s mattress that alerts if she stops breathing – great peace of mind) and/or a video monitor (we got a great one on a woot kids deal)  Summer Infant Baby Touch Video Monitor (Google Affiliate Ad)
•  Diaper genie (we got the Arm & Hammer one, so far so good)
• An arterial thermometer that you swipe across their head
• Sheets/quilted covers for the pack and play (2-4 of them)
•  Bassinet (we got a hand-me-down and it worked beautifully – some people we know went straight to a pack and play or crib but I liked having the bassinet right there next to the bed when he wasn’t sleeping through the night)
• You can never have too many receiving blankets (we have some from Carter’s that we got hand-me-down that are a little heavier that we use along with the regular receiving blankets and they are awesome)
•  Diaper caddy for organization. Then you can change a baby in a hurry anywhere in the house (we have this onehttp://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12326945 

    We are partial to Dr. Brown’s bottles – every baby is different though so don’t buy a bunch of anything in advance

Slack-tacular

I've been slacking and this has been pointed out repeatedly.

I know.

I've been all consumed with baby.

But I'll try...

In July I had a perfect son and he is the light of our lives.  You'd never guess something so small could keep you so busy.

Future posts may be littered with baby things.  You have been warned.

Pressure

Would you like to know what is a whole lot of pressure?

Naming a child.

They have to carry that with them forever. Holy crap. It could be a source of ridicule or individuality or jokes or humor or whatever.

Plus, both of us have to agree on what sounds good. When you have a stubborn husband, that may be complicated.

Probably my biggest baby-related concern at the moment (I think that's a good thing, but I'd really like to have it settled).

Since we aren't finding out boy or girl we have to have them ready for both. Sheesh.

He got a name...

Everyone's favorite fertility god has a name now... Walter.

And he works like a charm!

The Gods

So my brother and his fiance moved in this weekend. Their lease is up and the new one doesn't start until the first week of December.

They are staying with us for a couple weeks, getting married and going on their honeymoon, then will be back to pack up and move on.

It's been an interesting change. Four adults, two big dogs (mine) and a brand new puppy (theirs). So far so good - consistent housebreaking of the puppy seems to be the only rough spot so far.

Anyway, the reason I'm giving you the back story -- my brother knows that we are trying to make a baby, so he promptly placed his fertility statue (see picture) in our room. He has a little shield that you put over his junk when you don't want to be fertile, as you can see the shield has been removed. We shall see what happens, it is supposed to be foolproof.

I think he needs a name.

Hiring Women

I've always preferred to work with guys. Usually you can have a heated arguement regarding business with a male and then 10 minutes later it's over and you move on to football. With women everything is personal. Just about everyone I've ever hired is male.

I inherited a team of women (and hired one guy into the mix). Last year two of my seven employees had babies so I was basically working short handed for half of the year. They had paid time off and I struggled - at least that was my opinion at the time.

Now that I am considering kiddos of my own I refuse to let anyone (ok maybe one person) that I work with know and certainly not the folks I work for. Sadly, I think it would be career limiting (at least in the short term).

Change of perspective for me - it's interesting.

Well...

After much consideration and a blog post or two and thought and over-analyzation we have decided to pull the goalie.

It is scary this bringing a life solely dependent on you into the world thing.

Not too worried because I have some time to start thinking about it. We figure a few months to get the ABV (anti-baby-vitamins) out of my system and then we shall see what happens. Also need to get at least one more t-shirt.

The manfolk is already all over the web looking at shoulds and shouldn'ts and it is really cute.

Babies in the making

Came home from one peice of sad news. A friend of mine (who is also in our bookclub) lost her baby girl at 16 weeks of pregnancy.

It's kinda scary. I never thought much about it, but now that my close friends are having kids (quite a few of us waited to have them until post 30) and I see what some are going through to concieve it is a little intimidating.

The manfolk and I have talked about trying soon (he's seven years older than I am and I'm not really a spring chicken as far as uterus' go) and then keep saying maybe after _________________ (fill in the blank - he gets a steady job, we get a house, etc.)

Have you seen the movie Idiocracy? It's a pretty wacky movie about the gradual dumbing down of society, but the first five minutes make me think about quite a few folks that I know. It shows the classic stereotype of a trailer trash situation where they have no money or brains but breed like rabbits. On the converse you have the 30 something college educated folks who basically waited until they felt that the time was 'right' to have kids, when actually their time had passed and they are unable.

Who knows when the time is 'right'?

I don't want to be that couple.

If we have the opportunity to bring some well loved kids into the world I know we will make them great - even if we aren't in the same 'place' material-wise (money, house, etc.) that others feel we should be at this time in our lives.

We are happy - I believe that counts for a lot. I love our little life and know that whatever happens kids would just add to it.

For the first time ever I think I could get through anything with someone and I would like to share that.

The Scare

Just about everyone I know has had 'The Scare', some in high school (sinners... ha ha ha) some later in life -- that horrible few hours from realizing you are late, buying the test (the ultimate walk of shame) and waiting for the little line to appear.

As I was taking my ABV (anti-baby vitamin a.k.a. birth control) last night I was thinking about how different life would be if it wasn't actually a scare.

My first one was just after my senior year in high school with a guy who was a mistake in general - the kid would be 13 or so now, HOLY BALLS.

The others (yes, plural) didn't happen until college with the person who ended up being my first husband. Which weren't really scares because, come to find out, it isn't likely that he can have kids without medical intervention anyway. Still, if it wasn't a scare I would most likely still be married to him, perhaps miserable and would have a kid in the 4th grade (or so)

Yikes.

As I take my ABV, just over a month from the wedding, I realize that The Scare doesn't really scare me any more. Not with the manfolk (my almost husband) and our little life. It is interesting, and a bit scary, knowing that it would be hugely difficult (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.) but that we would be in it together.

God I'm getting mushy in my old age.

Facebook etiquette?

I'm a little lost sometimes on Facebook etiquette... For instance, my ex-husband's sister (so my ex-sister-in-law) had a baby this morning and I hesitated commenting on the picture she posted. All I wanted to say was congrats, and I hesitated. Weird. Haven't had any direct communication with that sister since I moved out except for a few emails she sent right after the fact. Oh well, she's still my Facebook friend so I went ahead and posted. What's the harm in that? The ex might hate my guts, but she must not or she would have unfriended me two years ago (although I'm sure it made for excellent stalking on their side when I first left or a good resource if they want to know what's going on with me now).

We shall see if I lose a few friends after this... who knows what people are thinking and I don't want to over think it any more than I already have, I just wanted to say congratulations.

Baby talk

Ok. I guess I am one of the few people who talk to babies like humans. Not saying the conversation always makes sense (neither do some of the conversations that I have with adults), but my voice doesn't go up four octaves and I don't make stupid noises.

What brought this on you ask? Someone brought their baby up to work just now and parked outside of my office. The resident useless co-worker rushed over and began making high pitched nonsense noises for 13 minutes straight (yes I timed it).

The urge to throw my stapler was nearly uncontrollable.

Genetic question

So the other day a friend brought her little one up to work and as I was holding the infant someone walked by and began oohing and aahing. In the course of the flood of compliments that usually occur during such an exchange the lady said "He is just too adorable, he has your nose." My friend said "Thank you" and the lady was on her way.

It wasn't until a few minutes later, after studying the child for a bit, that I realized (but didn't say) my friend with the baby had had a nose job a few years back.

This got me to thinking... you hate something about yourself, your body, so much that you have surgery to correct it and yet you are ok with (and even proud of) passing those genes along to this unknowing little one who doesn't have any idea (and neither does her husband I may add).

What is selfish? Wanting someone in your likeness or wanting someone in the likeness you had that you hated?