Dancing Queen

I can admit that there are things that I absolutely am no good at. Dancing is one of those things.

I usually have to be a good six pack in before I will get anywhere near a dance floor to do anything but slow dance (that part is easy, learned that in Junior High and the moves haven't changed).

But the manfolk has always had a desire to learn to ballroom dance (mostly because of True Lies he wants to be able to Tango) so we are signed up. Sure to be an adventure, and I am sure it will come in handy when we are on the cruise and whatnot.

No pictures allowed.

I don't think he knows what he is getting into.

Beach Fix

Got some beach fix. Dennis, the manfolk and I drove (yes drove) my favorite intern from North Texas back to school in Daytona Beach this weekend and rewarded ourselves with a few days on the beach. Originally supposed to fly back yesterday afternoon and was just so happy where we were we decided to stay the night and fly back at the crack of dawn this morning.

The only bad part is the day is dragging. Got back to Texas at 955 and was in meetings by 1020. Such. A. Long. Day.

Turtle burgers

Bacon! Beef! Cheese! Bacon! Turtles!! Some of my favorite things!

The manfolk sent me this and it makes me want to go buy a grill just to try to make them. Sweet sweet lovin.

Dear Clorox

Dear Clorox,

Why do I care if the toliet bowl cleaner kills the flu virus?

Thank you very much,
Confused Consumer that doesn't drink out of the toilet bowl

Aaaaaahhhhhhh

Middle of the night lovins are awesome.

60 DAYS!!!

60 Days until Cruise Time



More than a little bit excited.

Diet Clarification

Oh and just because the cruise falls in the middle of this competition doesn't mean I will be holding back on the bacon or soft serve while on board. Not doing my due bacon diligence would just be disgraceful.

Bring it

I love me some competition.

This one is weight involved. We are having a bastardized "Biggest Loser" competition at work. Whomever can lose the largest percent of their body weight in 18 weeks. Top three places pay out and the first place person is looking to get near $700.

Competition will hopefully motivate me. Plus we are now 62 days (thank you iPhone) away from the cruise adventure and I could use a few (dozen) less pounds to carry around.

I'll try to remember to update my loss percentage on here so you guys can cheer me on.

Questions

Just because they ask if you have any questions doesn't mean you have to have one. You don't need to make up a question to ask in front of everyone. Because you know what? Most of the time you are going to come off like you don't know what you are doing. And you probably don't. Or you just weren't paying attention. Or you are an idiot. Or all of the above.

"Hey Crayola"

If you like Star Wars at all and you have a sense of humor you will appreciate this video. For some reason it is one of those that will make me smile no matter how craptacular the day is.

Monday Again

I love my job but I am a little burned out. I see it in myself and need to do something about it before it starts affecting my people.

I haven't used much vacation this year (too much going on developing the new team, etc.) so I have managed to work it out where starting October 18th I won't work a single 5 day work week. With the flexible scheduling (I have every other Friday off) and the holidays I was able to plan time off and then still have some days left over to kill.

Was thinking of taking two days off this week and going to the beach, but that doesn't help with the money saving policy we are trying to institute in the household. Honestly I would be happy just being at home and maybe seeing a movie and sitting by the pool.

My favorite part of the day

Bedtime.

And not for the spanky/NSFD reasons either (though that is fun too - but we are really more of the middle of the day, middle of the night, morning sex people). Bedtime is different...

Usually we get to bed around 11 or so and end up spending hours talking about whatever. It can be absolutely nothing conversation and cuddling but it brings us closer and makes my heart happy. He makes me laugh and listens to all of the little crap that goes through my head and I hear about his day. He tells me stories from his childhood - he is an excellent story teller. Tells me stories about his family and we discuss all of the little parts of life that seem to slip by when the computer is glowing, the tv is on and we are moving around.

It is worth it for the lack of sleep just to have that time, and when I don't have it I miss it.

Weekday Exhaustion

In my old life Sunday evening through Thursday evening we never went out. That time was for working out and eating healthy stuff at the house. Occasionally we would have dinner with a family member, but going out on the weekdays was just not in the cards.

Now it seems like I am busy all of the time and I kick myself for not doing more all of those years.

Hope I haven't written this rant before.

This week for example, dinner with friends, a Rangers game, a Fort Worth Cats game - and that is just Tuesday - Thursday. I love the change in my life (even if I hit the snooze button a little too often lately and 1am seems to be the normal bedtime). By the time the weekend rolls around I am tired, but socially satisfied.

Had an interesting conversation the other day in a meeting with an aquainteance from another department:

Him "You haven't updated your facebook in a couple days"
Me "Stalker" (smile)
Him "No really. I have kids and a mortgage, I live vicariously through you. You always seem to be doing something fun or going somewhere different. I don't have that so I live through yours"
Me "Stalker" (smile)
Other Guy in the Room "Yeah you are kind of an admitted stalker, but in a good way"

But honestly it got me thinking about the things I do. I am kind of flattered.

I know I should eat better and work out more - but it honestly doesn't take a seconds hesitation for me to choose between a Rangers game or going to work out. Little pieces of life I was never living are more enticing to me than 30 minutes on the treadmill.

Seems to me a choice between living life and watching it drift by.

Let me be clear...

I mentioned in the good old bucket list that I wanted to be on the kiss cam.

I apparently need to be more specific... I want to be on the kiss cam when I have someone with me to kiss.

Blood

Mom's big concern after I got the tattoo was me not being able to give blood. Turns out that since I went to a place in Texas that was licensed the blood bank doesn't care. Woo hoo. The day after I was eligible to give (a year from our return from Belize) they were calling and got me set up. Mom and I went last weekend (I got the trainee, so it was more of a painful process than normal). Mom is happy and can't really find anything else negative to say about getting a tattoo.

Ha. So there.

NSFD

Had a few questions about what is NSFD.

NSFD = Not Safe For Dennis

Dennis is one of my closest friends the first person I told about this blog (besides the manfolk). I warned him that the content may not be suitable for his innocent eyes and all he asked was that in tweets and posts I give him fair warning. So you have the NSFD hash-tag and blog label to protect the 'innocent'.

Even as I type 'innocent' in relation to Dennis I am about to fall out of my chair laughing.

Pet Peeve #8

Crocs in public.

I don't care if they are comfortable. They look stupid on EVERYONE.

I can understand using them for small children - easy to put on, easy to clean - but even that is a stretch.

I love this guy's article and the imbedded rant.

They are the absolute opposite of sexy. Why don't people see that?



My father has a blue pair he tried to convince me were the most comfortable things out there - then in the same sit down he explained that he and his wife never seem to have sex anymore. He did not appreciate when I drew the correlation between the hideous rubber-like shoes and his dry spell.

The manfolk has some. He never wears them. He gets laid a lot.

Come to think of it, he is going on a trip without me soon and I think I will recommend that he take those along as his only footwear.

Divided Loyalty

How can you be completely trusting and open with someone who shares loyalty between you and your ex? I don't think it is possible. Just like last week when I needed someone to talk to and couldn't find anyone on 'my' side.

Last night I got a surprise. What surprised me is how much it is bothering me.

Went to dinner with a friend of mine who is a former co-worker married to my previous boss. At the start of the meal she says, "Don't know if you want to hear this but your ex and his woman are coming over tomorrow night". And then the dinner went on.

It bugs me more than I thought it would. When we were together the ex and I tried to share every part of our lives and our friends, so our lives were intertwined for a decade. You can see how that is hard to sort out.

The part that gets me I guess is after all of the spiteful things he said about so many of our friends that he considered 'my people' (this couple included) he is now keeping specific touch with them even though when we were together he would bitch about spending time with them and ask me to make excuses not to. He especially disliked anyone associated with my work (these two included) and my family (who was never good enough).

But I can't really say that to them now can I.

The manfolk thinks I should draw a line in the sand and tell people to chose. It is human nature to pick a side and much easier on the psyche. Would be better than having guarded 'friendships' with people I am supposed to be able to talk to. I can't bring myself to do that, it isn't fair and I am of the opinion that people should choose on their own. And part of me is probably chickenshit to find out that no one would pick me.

How are you able to be completely open with someone who is also loyal to the person that hurt you most in life?

The half friendships are wearing me out. You shouldn't have to always be on guard and careful about what you say.

The person I was out with last night I had thought was a neutral party and had opened up more than I generally do. As soon as she told me about her plan I shut down, not her fault - but it is a trust issue with me. I don't trust a lot of people and divided loyalty is an immediate red flag for me.

Countdown

According to the official countdown on my phone I have 81 days until the cruise.

I am already freakin' excited. We booked a scuba dive in Grand Cayman so I can finally test my newly established diving certification in blue water.

Seems like forever away.

Pet Peeve #7

(I have more of these peeves than I thought.)

Grown women who call their father "daddy"

Really see it more in women from the south (or from money) and it just sounds stupid and childish.

How forever feels

Been talking a lot of long term stuff with the manfolk. Getting excited. Marriage, babies, things that didn't used to interest me.

Scares me.

Catch myself trying to push him away even still. Like I am testing him before we make the actual move.

Unfortunately for him I have this need to be completely honest, don't want things going the way they did in my last long term relationship. At times I think I may be too blunt for my own good (and for the good of us).

Guess I do have more chick in me than I care to admit. Now if I can just curb it so he doesn't run off.

Trust

It takes a lot to earn my trust and not much to lose it.

And if I have a hint of proof I have a tendency to hang on to it and worry about it and don't really know how to get over it.

Or even if I should.

Been hurt before. When I was young (high school ish) I swore I was never getting married or having kids. EVER. To difficult and too open and it was just safer not to.

There was a period of time (years) where I didn't talk to my dad because he cheated on my mom and broke up our family. I would only speak when necessary and usually that involved money to pay for college (or bills that went unpaid). It took years for our relationship to become decent again and I will still probably never forgive him for that.

Accountability often seems lost - people use the excuse of alcohol, sadness, whatever to justify the things that they do to hurt others. I just can't stand by that. Everyone makes bad decisions or decisions they regret, live up to them, move on and don't make excuses.

Men seem to blame their penises for a lot of stuff too (usually coupled with alcohol) which I think is the biggest load of crap ever.