Well...

After much consideration and a blog post or two and thought and over-analyzation we have decided to pull the goalie.

It is scary this bringing a life solely dependent on you into the world thing.

Not too worried because I have some time to start thinking about it. We figure a few months to get the ABV (anti-baby-vitamins) out of my system and then we shall see what happens. Also need to get at least one more t-shirt.

The manfolk is already all over the web looking at shoulds and shouldn'ts and it is really cute.

Keeping up with the trailer life...

We could make so much money off of this...

BatShitCrazy has become a phenomenon around our friend group. They all friended her on Facebook. It is just too interesting not to.

Last weekend was her birthday. We had a party. It was my brother's idea really - the requirement - everyone needed to dress up like one of her activities. Trickier than you would think considering most of her activities aren't really activities.

The list of costumes was as follows (and was true to her list):
killing hookers and eating krystals afterwards (in our case krystals = PopRocks)
bodies of water
ghost hunting
tornadoes
taking pictures of myself in the mirror and posting them because i'm not conceded I just like photography
Marilyn Monroe quotes

We put her homepage on the big screen and played beer pong and had an all around good time. My mother thinks that we are being mean, but good lord - if you put it out there for the world to see then you have to expect some sort of reaction.

In other news... Crazystepbrother announced his engagement on Facebook to someone he has known for two months. Forgot that he was still married to Shoulda'Run until my stepmother asked him that on his status update. More awesomeness...

The reality show that I could put together with my extended Louisiana family would be epic.

Pet Peeve #11

Whistling.

It makes me crazy. Give me nails down a chalk board all day long, sing badly really loud, but please, please just don't whistle.

And usually when you tell someone how much it bothers you, they can't help themselves but do it.

For a day...

I would like to be able to answer work emails with what I'm really thinking. Just one day.

Idiot Employee to the Team: "Thanks so much for doing that!"
Me: "It's your damn job and I've told you twelve times to take care of it each day. I had to pick up the slack because you are incompetent and I am so beat down that I just did it myself. I'll add this to the paper trail stack I am building regarding your complete lack of coherence."

Guy in the Department who has Ideas an no execution: "Here's my idea, how can you make it happen?"
Me: "I'll tell you how -- You can get off your ass and follow through on something for once in your life instead of spouting half cocked ideas and expecting everyone to jump in and make you look good."

Idiot Employee #2 to the Team: "I don't know if I quite understand this yet."
Me: "Well you should. We've had two meetings and a one on one totaling about 5 hours of discussion on how to do this so if you don't get it by now I should be allowed to beat you with a brick. I know that you are resisting this because it wasn't your idea and you are feeling threatened because you have no self confidence - which, in all honesty you shouldn't have any confidence because you do the bare minimum, aren't innovative and promoted because of longevity and not merit."

Leader who doesn't make a decision: "I'll take that to the higher ups and we will discuss"
Me: "I'm shocked you can pick out your underwear in the morning without convening a meeting about it. Or maybe you do - I should ask your wife and kids."

It could just go on and on. I think it would be extremely therapeutic.

Finally...

Link to the professional wedding pictures are here! Woo hoo! They came out great. Now the trouble will be narrowing them down to the 50 we already paid for. I have a feeling we will be spending more $$ on these than we originally planned.

Can't lie...

Work was more exciting when there was the prospect of having random sex during the workday. Now all I have to look forward to is working. Sheesh.

As toxic/stupid/crazy as it was -- I was never so excited to get out of bed in the morning.

Oh well. What I've got now is infinitely better - though it is really hard to get out of bed in the morning when I'd rather be snuggling (or doing other naked stuff) with the manfolk.

As time goes on....

Haven't blogged in a while. Guess I should get on that...

The manfolk got a job. Started this Tuesday and is bored out of his mind, but is doing it for us and I am so very thankful he is willing to.

Other than that, just been damn busy.

Creepy Dress Communication

So, with my wedding dress purchase came a preservation kit. I guess it's a big deal in the wedding dress world, you put it in the box they provide and it ships out to get cleaned and vaccuum sealed into a different, fancier box. So I sent it off, and got this two days later...

"Wow, what a ride,"

"I am having Memories Gown Preservation send you an e-mail to let you know that I arrived safely."

"Did you know that Memories offers an upgrade service? Yeah, I saw this other gown getting the royal treatment. First, I saw it getting meticulously hand-cleaned and pressed, and then, they wrapped it in this museum-style muslin fabric. Next, they put it in this special box and shrunk wrapped the box for added protection... not to mention the additional $500.00 declared Insurance value. Man.... these guys go all out!!"

"If you have already seen the benefit, a loud, THANK YOU! If not, to learn more, call Customer Service at 866-492-GOWN."

"Missing you... I will back in a Jiffy!!"


Love,

Your Gown!

So creepy... I wonder how often it works.

How hard is it to be an intern?

Seriously... I had to fire an intern last week for general incompetence and inability to follow direction. How difficult is being an intern?

Really all you need to do is what you are told. Oh, by the way, we pay our interns and give them airline benefits.

Shit.

Waste of a day and a lot of heartache for the two sweet people who run the program for me. They were absolutely tormented to fire him in the last half of his tenure here. When I sat him down with HR to do the deed he immediately threw them under the bus. That helped make it crystal clear that we made the right decision.

The remaining intern is pretty much scared out of his wits... he is nervous around me at all times now. Ugh. He's a good kid who will probably give himself ulcers if he has to stand in my office too long.

If they had a country I'd move there...

I may have, once or twice, mentioned how much I like bacon.

Found the best article today. Click here to read.

Dear Republic of Bacon,

You are my hero.

Love,

P&B

Be careful who you ask...

Be careful who you ask for advice. Perspective is everything.

July Resolution Update

Much easier than June...

Got married in Mexico.

Did my first open water scuba dives. Loved it! It had been a year since my certification and I will try not to let that happen again.

New restaurants: Red dog Right, Pluckers - both good, sporty, excellent service.

We won our first softball game in franchise history. After two seasons of losses this was a really big deal for us. Also at the last game of the season one of our fill in peeps got two in the park home runs... another first.