Friday, April 22, 2011

Speaking of Facebook

My stepmonster has brought a lot of things to the lives of my brothers and I. It's been an interesting ride.

One of the best things that she has brought with her is her crazy Louisana backwoods family. It's fantastic to watch and Facebook has made it real time for us. I have two favorites. BatShitCrazy and Shoulda'run (names have been changed to protect the innocent).

The backstory:

Shoulda'run is a very sweet person. She got knocked up by Crazystepbrother (the part time trucker) and they got married in my dad’s backyard a couple years ago. Well, she had the sweetest little boy but he has a lot of serious medical issues (including downs). As soon as my super classy step brother found out the baby had medical issues (which, statistically you could have bet on considering she was like 45 when she had him) he demanded that there was no way it could be his child(asshole). So… they’ve been off again on again since then (5 years ish?) but neither have the money to get divorced. She will generally rant about Crazystepbrother and is also friends with BatShitCrazy, often tries to talk sense into her (HILARIOUS).

My stepmother and father are still very close to here and dote on the kiddo - they come to Texas to visit a couple of times a year and we love to see him. Crazystepbrother has pretty much been disowned, but is also on Facebook and his snippets tend to be extremely interesting and contain some of the worst grammar I've ever encountered.

BatShitCrazy is my step mother's niece by her second (or third?) husband. At the ripe old age of 15 she got impregnated by a 20 year old man, who also happened to be half black (you can guess how well that part went over in the backwoods). Well, he went to jail and she moved in with a 40 year old man. While that man was supporting her she got knocked up by a local unemployed friend (part Mexican - again, grandma nearly had a heart attack). So she's 20 and has two kids, no job (got fired as a cook at the bowling alley for 'political reasons') and her 40 year old boyfriend who was supporting the two kids that aren't his has, for some reason, decided to kick them all out.

OMG (I don't use that often but it seems appropriate here) just a glimpse at her Facebook makes you feel better about your life and shake your head amazement. The supporting characters through out make it even better. It's a train wreck. Littlest brother and I have a couple of friends that didn't believe that BatShitCrazy was real -- they now follow her on Facebook.

The reason this came up... Sunday BatShitCrazy said that she was swearing off using Facebook (that happens monthly-ish and generally lasts about 15 minutes) but this time she actually hasn't posted anything since - we were just lamenting the loss of entertainment and toying with the idea of starting a petition to get her back on.

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