I don't know you, but you make me laugh.
Thank you Blogess
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Dare you to ask me for a referral...
So, the manfolk and I handed off the stateside planning of our wedding to a long time friend of his who is (I would say was at this point) trying to become a wedding/event planner.
Saturday, 22 days prior to the wedding, she texts the manfolk that she isn't coming to the wedding. The excuses are quite flimsy. We knew she might flake on us earlier, but figured at this point she was fully invested and there was no turning back. We were wrong.
So Sunday I posted a facebook message as such:
"Knew planning was going too smoothly -- not good when your wedding coordinator isn't going to the wedding"
She went apeshit. On facebook. I ended up deleting the thread because she was making an ass of herself.
And I feel guilty - WTH? She bails three weeks prior to the wedding and I feel guilty. Shit. I'm too nice. I've been agitated over the whole thing for about 24 hours and really need to make myself chill out.
Haven't talked to her, everything has been through text. I just sent her an email proposing a truce (I need her knowledge of the inner workings of our wedding and also hope to salvage the friendship because I don't think it is worth losing over her being a flake) and put it in her court.
We shall see.
Needless to say she won't be getting a good referral and there has been a serious loss of trust.
Saturday, 22 days prior to the wedding, she texts the manfolk that she isn't coming to the wedding. The excuses are quite flimsy. We knew she might flake on us earlier, but figured at this point she was fully invested and there was no turning back. We were wrong.
So Sunday I posted a facebook message as such:
"Knew planning was going too smoothly -- not good when your wedding coordinator isn't going to the wedding"
She went apeshit. On facebook. I ended up deleting the thread because she was making an ass of herself.
And I feel guilty - WTH? She bails three weeks prior to the wedding and I feel guilty. Shit. I'm too nice. I've been agitated over the whole thing for about 24 hours and really need to make myself chill out.
Haven't talked to her, everything has been through text. I just sent her an email proposing a truce (I need her knowledge of the inner workings of our wedding and also hope to salvage the friendship because I don't think it is worth losing over her being a flake) and put it in her court.
We shall see.
Needless to say she won't be getting a good referral and there has been a serious loss of trust.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
As we get closer...
People tend to love to give wedding/marriage advice as we get closer and closer to the big day.
Then someone was kind enough to present me with this lovely blog. I cried I laughed so hard and the moral of the story (and quite possibly the best advice we have gotten yet) know when to pick your battles.
And everyone needs a 5 foot chicken
Then someone was kind enough to present me with this lovely blog. I cried I laughed so hard and the moral of the story (and quite possibly the best advice we have gotten yet) know when to pick your battles.
And everyone needs a 5 foot chicken
Thursday, June 23, 2011
A decade?
When I was deciding to write this post I was looking back through last year and realized that I posted nearly the same thing last year. Guess it is just that time of year when this set of memories surfaces.
Today would have been a decade married to the ex.
Scary.
If I was in it I'd be a shell of who I am today (and this blog would be a lot more dull).
Really scary.
A decade just sounds like such a loooooong time. I was just a kid back then! I've said to my mom "Why didn't someone stop me?" after muttering under her breath she usually tells me something to the effect that I am pigheaded and (especially back then) there was no stopping me. Resistance would have made me more determined.
I can see that.
Today would have been a decade married to the ex.
Scary.
If I was in it I'd be a shell of who I am today (and this blog would be a lot more dull).
Really scary.
A decade just sounds like such a loooooong time. I was just a kid back then! I've said to my mom "Why didn't someone stop me?" after muttering under her breath she usually tells me something to the effect that I am pigheaded and (especially back then) there was no stopping me. Resistance would have made me more determined.
I can see that.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Copyright Schmopyright
I hate that crap.
1. It's music. Share. What's the harm in it? It's not even a new song - you've made your millions and you broadcast it on TV. That is like saying you will share and then changing your mind. I believe as children we used to call that Indian Giving.
2. You are making it so that links from my blog don't work. It makes me crazy.
Suck it viacom
Monday, June 20, 2011
Rereading
I got off track and started re-reading some of the stuff that I've posted since I started this shenanigan.
I seem to like counting down. It's kinda funny. My brother and I have discussed that we are the type of people that like having something to look forward to - something to strive for. Guess counting down makes me feel good.
and you guys haven't complained yet... so I'll keep the status quo.
I seem to like counting down. It's kinda funny. My brother and I have discussed that we are the type of people that like having something to look forward to - something to strive for. Guess counting down makes me feel good.
and you guys haven't complained yet... so I'll keep the status quo.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Father's Day
In honor of father's day I defer to the highly entertaining... Shit my dad says.
My father wears me out (see previous post) but as my brother puts it "Mom insists he's your dad so deal with it"
Happy Father's day to all decent dads - and some that don't always seem decent but you love anyway.
My father wears me out (see previous post) but as my brother puts it "Mom insists he's your dad so deal with it"
Happy Father's day to all decent dads - and some that don't always seem decent but you love anyway.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Alls well that ends well... I think?
Excellent. Needless to say... most of our attendees are lovers not fighters when they are drunk and it shall be a requirement of the groom to wear pants (or at least underwear).
Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Really?
My father actually emailed me from another country while on 'business' (getting drunk on the beach on a charity's dime) and told me to contact his secretary to schedule some time with him when he gets back because he wants to see me.
Are you kidding?
Call his secretary to book time?
Not a f-ing chance in hell. If he wants to get together when he has sobered up he can call and schedule time with me himself.
What if I told him to call my secretary?
Ever hear the song Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin (or my favorite rendition by Ugly Kid Joe)?
Sheesh.
Are you kidding?
Call his secretary to book time?
Not a f-ing chance in hell. If he wants to get together when he has sobered up he can call and schedule time with me himself.
What if I told him to call my secretary?
Ever hear the song Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin (or my favorite rendition by Ugly Kid Joe)?
Sheesh.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
An excuse...
Blogging will be spotty for a bit... have training for a week that starts tomorrow and then immediately leaving for some drunkenness (I love you Sailor Jerry) on the beach in Florida with my littlest brother and our significant others.
YEAH BEACH!!!
YEAH BEACH!!!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Drinking Alone -- Undone
And... the response to our interesting debate from earlier from a guest blogger. I'm quite impressed...
Here is my dissertation. It took a somewhat different turn than what you originally proposed, but here you have it.
The Science Behind Drinking Alone
I often recall hearing that drinking along is a bad thing. I’ve done it, will continue to do it, and I know many people that have and will. So if what I’ve heard is true, then drinking alone is a sure sign of impending or existent alcoholism, right? Most likely yes…but not if you follow these simple rules to determine whether or not you are actually drinking “alone”. If you fear you may be drinking alone, I’ve also provided some tips to help you out of a potential lifetime of devastation.
At Home
If you are in a residence, be it a house, apartment, dorm room, or drainage ditch (these rules extend to the homeless too), you are not drinking alone if there is another person in the residence with you and they are within conversational earshot. Example: I am sitting on the couch watching TV drinking straight from a bottle of Jaeger, and as long as I can engage in a conversation with another individual without yelling, then I am not drinking alone. On the contrary: I am playing Wii in the basement and sipping a Coors Light while my sister is upstairs in her room practicing for her upcoming American Idol audition. I are not home by myself, but there is nobody within earshot, nobody to converse with; therefore I am functionally alone, drinking, and am inevitably headed down the path of evil and will someday beat my wife without regret. The homeless clearly have the distinct advantage here, as they tend to gather en mass, and their potential for being accused of drinking alone is virtually non-existent. We could only be so lucky.
How Not to Drink Along on an Airplane
The concept of drinking along on an airplane may seem silly. How often are you ever alone on an airplane? Even if you are the only passenger, there will presumably (hopefully) be at least one Flight Attendant to keep you company. However basic this may seem, there is still potential to drink alone on an airplane, starting you down (or continuing down) a path of loneliness and self-destruction. Due to the confines of an airplane, as long as you know someone (anyone) on the airplane, you can order your bloody Mary and not risk drinking alone. How you define “know someone” is debatable, but a general rule of thumb is whether or not you would say hello to that person on your way to your seat. Personally, I encourage you to make friends in the terminal before boarding the airplane. This serves as a cheap insurance policy. If you don’t know anyone on the airplane, but an individual in your row orders a drink, you can feel free to indulge; you are not drinking alone. One commonly misunderstood technicality arises when you travel on an airplane with two levels (B-747, Airbus 380). If you know somebody on the airplane but they are the other level, you must have said hello to them and acknowledged your travel plans on the same calendar day in order to establish each other’s presence. After that, feel free to indulge. All of these rules assume you are flying in Economy class. If you are fortunate enough to be seated in Business or First class, it is socially expected for you to drink as much as you possibly can no matter whom, if anyone, you know on the airplane. Premium Economy presents an interesting challenge, one that I am not prepared to discuss as of yet.
These are just basic examples of how to drink alone without it being considered problematic. Many additional guidelines exist, some of which may be discussed in the future.
For those who are concerned about a potential bad habit forming, just remember to follow these rules as anything to the contrary will inevitably lead straight to eternal hellfire and damnation. For those of you not too concerned, I’ll see you in hell.
Here is my dissertation. It took a somewhat different turn than what you originally proposed, but here you have it.
The Science Behind Drinking Alone
I often recall hearing that drinking along is a bad thing. I’ve done it, will continue to do it, and I know many people that have and will. So if what I’ve heard is true, then drinking alone is a sure sign of impending or existent alcoholism, right? Most likely yes…but not if you follow these simple rules to determine whether or not you are actually drinking “alone”. If you fear you may be drinking alone, I’ve also provided some tips to help you out of a potential lifetime of devastation.
At Home
If you are in a residence, be it a house, apartment, dorm room, or drainage ditch (these rules extend to the homeless too), you are not drinking alone if there is another person in the residence with you and they are within conversational earshot. Example: I am sitting on the couch watching TV drinking straight from a bottle of Jaeger, and as long as I can engage in a conversation with another individual without yelling, then I am not drinking alone. On the contrary: I am playing Wii in the basement and sipping a Coors Light while my sister is upstairs in her room practicing for her upcoming American Idol audition. I are not home by myself, but there is nobody within earshot, nobody to converse with; therefore I am functionally alone, drinking, and am inevitably headed down the path of evil and will someday beat my wife without regret. The homeless clearly have the distinct advantage here, as they tend to gather en mass, and their potential for being accused of drinking alone is virtually non-existent. We could only be so lucky.
How Not to Drink Along on an Airplane
The concept of drinking along on an airplane may seem silly. How often are you ever alone on an airplane? Even if you are the only passenger, there will presumably (hopefully) be at least one Flight Attendant to keep you company. However basic this may seem, there is still potential to drink alone on an airplane, starting you down (or continuing down) a path of loneliness and self-destruction. Due to the confines of an airplane, as long as you know someone (anyone) on the airplane, you can order your bloody Mary and not risk drinking alone. How you define “know someone” is debatable, but a general rule of thumb is whether or not you would say hello to that person on your way to your seat. Personally, I encourage you to make friends in the terminal before boarding the airplane. This serves as a cheap insurance policy. If you don’t know anyone on the airplane, but an individual in your row orders a drink, you can feel free to indulge; you are not drinking alone. One commonly misunderstood technicality arises when you travel on an airplane with two levels (B-747, Airbus 380). If you know somebody on the airplane but they are the other level, you must have said hello to them and acknowledged your travel plans on the same calendar day in order to establish each other’s presence. After that, feel free to indulge. All of these rules assume you are flying in Economy class. If you are fortunate enough to be seated in Business or First class, it is socially expected for you to drink as much as you possibly can no matter whom, if anyone, you know on the airplane. Premium Economy presents an interesting challenge, one that I am not prepared to discuss as of yet.
These are just basic examples of how to drink alone without it being considered problematic. Many additional guidelines exist, some of which may be discussed in the future.
For those who are concerned about a potential bad habit forming, just remember to follow these rules as anything to the contrary will inevitably lead straight to eternal hellfire and damnation. For those of you not too concerned, I’ll see you in hell.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Damn internet...
You try to have a secret or two but sometimes the internet gets the best of you.
Oh well - can't find it unless you are specifically looking for it so I'm not too worried.
And for the folks who asked. NO. I am not pregnant.
Oh well - can't find it unless you are specifically looking for it so I'm not too worried.
And for the folks who asked. NO. I am not pregnant.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Speaking of old age...
NSFD -- See Dennis - I remembered for once!
I pulled something my back having semi-wild, but very vigorous sex last week. Hurts like crazy.
Coming to grips with the fact I'm not 20 anymore sucks.
My boss hurt his back about a month ago and was being a total bitch about it. Now I kinda feel bad for saying mean things about his demeanor. It is miserable when you have to sit through meetings and just can't get comfortable.
I pulled something my back having semi-wild, but very vigorous sex last week. Hurts like crazy.
Coming to grips with the fact I'm not 20 anymore sucks.
My boss hurt his back about a month ago and was being a total bitch about it. Now I kinda feel bad for saying mean things about his demeanor. It is miserable when you have to sit through meetings and just can't get comfortable.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Scare
Just about everyone I know has had 'The Scare', some in high school (sinners... ha ha ha) some later in life -- that horrible few hours from realizing you are late, buying the test (the ultimate walk of shame) and waiting for the little line to appear.
As I was taking my ABV (anti-baby vitamin a.k.a. birth control) last night I was thinking about how different life would be if it wasn't actually a scare.
My first one was just after my senior year in high school with a guy who was a mistake in general - the kid would be 13 or so now, HOLY BALLS.
The others (yes, plural) didn't happen until college with the person who ended up being my first husband. Which weren't really scares because, come to find out, it isn't likely that he can have kids without medical intervention anyway. Still, if it wasn't a scare I would most likely still be married to him, perhaps miserable and would have a kid in the 4th grade (or so)
Yikes.
As I take my ABV, just over a month from the wedding, I realize that The Scare doesn't really scare me any more. Not with the manfolk (my almost husband) and our little life. It is interesting, and a bit scary, knowing that it would be hugely difficult (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.) but that we would be in it together.
God I'm getting mushy in my old age.
As I was taking my ABV (anti-baby vitamin a.k.a. birth control) last night I was thinking about how different life would be if it wasn't actually a scare.
My first one was just after my senior year in high school with a guy who was a mistake in general - the kid would be 13 or so now, HOLY BALLS.
The others (yes, plural) didn't happen until college with the person who ended up being my first husband. Which weren't really scares because, come to find out, it isn't likely that he can have kids without medical intervention anyway. Still, if it wasn't a scare I would most likely still be married to him, perhaps miserable and would have a kid in the 4th grade (or so)
Yikes.
As I take my ABV, just over a month from the wedding, I realize that The Scare doesn't really scare me any more. Not with the manfolk (my almost husband) and our little life. It is interesting, and a bit scary, knowing that it would be hugely difficult (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.) but that we would be in it together.
God I'm getting mushy in my old age.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Words I can't spell
necessary
received
recipe
restaurant
Each one of these got the squiggly red line under them as I finished the list. Yeah for Microsoft and Mozilla for the squiggly line and auto correct.
received
recipe
restaurant
Each one of these got the squiggly red line under them as I finished the list. Yeah for Microsoft and Mozilla for the squiggly line and auto correct.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Its getting close...
More and more real all of the time. Got an email from the person who is in charge of our ceremony today. Turns out he blogs a little (click here).
So exciting!
Spending today tying up some loose wedding ends and getting some stuff taken care of.
So exciting!
Spending today tying up some loose wedding ends and getting some stuff taken care of.
Psssssst
Secrets can be fun.
If you trust the right people with them.
Fun fun fun.
Bursting with it but I can't even tell you guys.
If you trust the right people with them.
Fun fun fun.
Bursting with it but I can't even tell you guys.
Friday, June 3, 2011
An interesting debate...
Drinking alone.
Some say it is only for alcoholics. If you don't save drinking for the social scene you may have a problem.
I disagree.
So... Denise and I (Denise = Dennis) who quite enjoy a cold beer on the couch alone in our underwear have challenged a good friend of ours to come up with the 'whys' behind the stigmata on social drinking.
More to follow as he submits his paperwork...
Some say it is only for alcoholics. If you don't save drinking for the social scene you may have a problem.
I disagree.
So... Denise and I (Denise = Dennis) who quite enjoy a cold beer on the couch alone in our underwear have challenged a good friend of ours to come up with the 'whys' behind the stigmata on social drinking.
More to follow as he submits his paperwork...
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Mission Update #4
Keep forgetting to weigh myself. Something subliminal perhaps?
Ha!
Starting to realize that the manfolk is actually ok with me and how I look. Sounds stupid but it was a big realization last week (after I had a half drunken body image breakdown). I even bought a pair of shorts. Ha! Just because he said I should.
I think it is difficult because the ex used to be such an image Nazi. Everything was always supposed to look just right, every pound was lamented and guilt about food and activity choices was an every day, every minute thing.
Still walking, have just under 50 days to do about 50 miles. My pace has slowed but I'm on track.
Still drinking water at work. Still a challenge to do so on the weekends.
Ha!
Starting to realize that the manfolk is actually ok with me and how I look. Sounds stupid but it was a big realization last week (after I had a half drunken body image breakdown). I even bought a pair of shorts. Ha! Just because he said I should.
I think it is difficult because the ex used to be such an image Nazi. Everything was always supposed to look just right, every pound was lamented and guilt about food and activity choices was an every day, every minute thing.
Still walking, have just under 50 days to do about 50 miles. My pace has slowed but I'm on track.
Still drinking water at work. Still a challenge to do so on the weekends.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
May Resolution Update
The May Update on "Doing things I've never done" aka. The Resolution
Shot a shotgun (had done rifles before, but never a shotgun)
Turned 32
Went to Houston and got a behind the scenes tour of NASA as part of a business trip. Got to go to Mission Control and the NBL and everything -- it was AWESOME. Top picture is the shuttle cargo bay tester at the Neutral Buoyancy Lab (NBL) in Houston. Very cool. It just make me want to put on a dive suit and jump in, perfect time to use my dive skills. Also got to see the current Mission Control Rooms and also sit at the Flight Director's desk in the old Apollo era Mission Control. 
The rotary phone controls were the best part -- it just doesn't seem technologically right that they had rotary phones and put a man on the moon. Took some great pictures and got some keepsakes from the people there. Really sad that the shuttle program is nearing it's end, can't imagine what is going to happen to all of those people and that infrastructure.
Sat on a delayed plane for three hours. Thank you Texas weather. Happy to say that that was a first.
Some sweet friends of ours threw us a Taco Shower (as a follow-up to April's Beer and Bacon) it was a bunch of fun.
Signed up for a youtube account. Never thought it was really necessary, but it is quite fun when you get into it.
Got drunk with a friend the other night and bought a pole dancing classes (Groupon on iPhone is dangerous - it should probably require a breathalyzer to operate), so hopefully I won't permanently damage myself and still be able to update you at the close of June.
Shot a shotgun (had done rifles before, but never a shotgun)
Turned 32
Went to Houston and got a behind the scenes tour of NASA as part of a business trip. Got to go to Mission Control and the NBL and everything -- it was AWESOME. Top picture is the shuttle cargo bay tester at the Neutral Buoyancy Lab (NBL) in Houston. Very cool. It just make me want to put on a dive suit and jump in, perfect time to use my dive skills. Also got to see the current Mission Control Rooms and also sit at the Flight Director's desk in the old Apollo era Mission Control. 
The rotary phone controls were the best part -- it just doesn't seem technologically right that they had rotary phones and put a man on the moon. Took some great pictures and got some keepsakes from the people there. Really sad that the shuttle program is nearing it's end, can't imagine what is going to happen to all of those people and that infrastructure.Sat on a delayed plane for three hours. Thank you Texas weather. Happy to say that that was a first.
Some sweet friends of ours threw us a Taco Shower (as a follow-up to April's Beer and Bacon) it was a bunch of fun.
Signed up for a youtube account. Never thought it was really necessary, but it is quite fun when you get into it.
Got drunk with a friend the other night and bought a pole dancing classes (Groupon on iPhone is dangerous - it should probably require a breathalyzer to operate), so hopefully I won't permanently damage myself and still be able to update you at the close of June.
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