It is pretty standard procedure that when you fall for someone and they say that they feel the same way - you open up and expect the same. Apparently I am wrong.
Things keep coming up - stuff I consider to be kinda' a big deal (and are occasionally on caliber to make it on to Montel) - and all I get is an "I'm sorry" and an "I'm working on it". It = being able to share.
What he doesn't get is all of the little things pile up. All of the little lies that are caught (even when he doesn't think they are) and omissions of truth for no reason make everything else (even innocent stuff) suspicious. It can be crushing. I trust him when he says he will never screw around physically -- but emotionally I don't know.
Love him, love being with him, everything is really great and he makes me incredibly happy. And then crap like this pops up - it is like he is living two different lives. I have given him no reason not to trust me and have been extremely up front with my life and what I want. I opened up in hopes that he will do the same. I am not asking to get into "The Vault" (as he calls it) and not asking for a minute by minute play by play - just want to know about the events that built him and the ones that are going to come and bite us in the future.
Guess I am more frustrated than anything - don't understand why he won't open up. I understand that other people have hurt him, but I am not those other people. Hell, he still talks and hangs out with most of those other people that he says hurt him so badly. Intensely frustrated.
This weekend provided an interesting reality check and put me on guard, but it doesn't phase him. It is hard to trust someone who doesn't trust you enough to share - but talks about building a life with you.
There are always red flags, previously they were little. It is starting to be worrisome. How many red flags are too many? When is it time to run in the name of self preservation?
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