It's amazing

It's amazing how much you can miss a four legged friend. Our little guy has been gone for nearly two months and there is still a vacancy in our hearts and our home.

Farwell Dear Master,

A good friend sent us this and I thought I would share.

Farwell, Dear Master,

You have been my teacher, my friend and most beloved companion. I was like your child, totally dependent on you for all my needs. But I never grew up or moved away as children do. I just grew to love and need you more each day, each month, each year.

I never went hungry because you fed me dinner and gave me water every day. When the weather was bad I found comfort in the warmth and safety of your house. I delighted you by learning tricks, but what you may not have realized is that I loved learning from you because I lived to please you.

The touch of your hand stroking my fur made my life worthwhile. Although I barked at noises in the night, the postman’s footsteps, and the ringing of the doorbell; the voice of my master was the one sound that I cherished most.

Your moods became my moods. When you were sad or lonely, I nuzzled closer to comfort you. There were times you became upset with me because I soiled the carpet, chewed on a piece of furniture, or barked too much. But do not feel bad about those times when you scolded me. I needed to learn right from wrong, and I always understood when things weren’t going your way or when you’d had an unpleasant day at work.

There is no need to harbor guilt or remorse on my behalf. You loved me and blessed me with more happiness than most animals will ever know. Instead of wondering what you could have done differently, remember the funny things I did and the happy times we enjoyed together.

Though it is hard for you to understand, I was ready to pass on from this life. Our time together was short, but if we’d had fifty years together, you still would not have been ready from me to leave.

So please, master, share your life with others. Do not refuse the opportunity to give another lucky pet the love you have given me. No animal will ever take my place in you heart, but there is another one who needs you and who will grow to love you as much as I did.

I am now at peace and I no loner feel pain. You gave me a wonderful home and a happy existence on this earth.

So please be happy – go on with your life and give your love to others. Although I no longer share your world, I will always live in your heart and you in mine.

Farewell, Dear Master

Brokenhearted

We had to put down our sweet dog on Saturday. After ten years of wonderful friendship and companionship. It was the best choice for him, his liver was failing and he had cancer. He hadn’t been the same for the last few months, but it was still impossible to let him go. I still cry (I’m crying now). The manfolk and I are both devastated. I think our other pup is just confused. It’s amazing how much an animal can mean to you and affect you each day. There is a hole in our home.

Deep thoughts

Ever wonder who would show up to your funeral?

Don't know why but that has been on my mind this afternoon.

Wish I could make sure that people I didn't like don't show. A couple of them just like the attention given to them because they 'knew' the deceased. That crap makes me nuts.

I don't really want a funeral. I want to have every spare body part donated. Cremate me. Then just have a giant party and talk about happy times.

I mean a GIANT party

Passing of a great man

I mentioned funeral leave in my last post like people know what is going on in my life.

Saturday afternoon my grandfather passed away. Honestly, he has been ready to move on since his wife died suddenly in October 2004. He was my last grandparent and 95 years old. The last few years have been kind of rough for him, near the end it has been difficult to see.

My mom is an amazing woman who has visited him every day (or made sure one of us kids did when she absolutely couldn't) since he came to Texas two years ago and went in to the nursing home. She is taking it harder than I (or I think she) thought she would. She has dedicated a lot of her life to him these last few years and that has got to leave a hole in your heart, even knowing that he is better off.

The family is headed to farm town upstate New York to lay him to rest next to his wife at the end of the week. I have thousands of happy memories of this self made man -- farmer, Realtor, father, land lord, grandfather. Every grandchild should be so lucky. He was an amazing man.

Cheers to a life well lived.

There is a light...

Wow that last entry was quite the random rant. Drugs are good mmmmkay...

There is a light at the end of this tonsil tunnel... Went back to the doc today and he said that I am healing right just slowly because of the procedure he had to do back in December and the fact that I am old.

At the ripe old age of 30 my doctor is calling me old. Nice.

Anyway, feeling a lot better energy-wise. He said that all of a sudden I will feel better in the next few days (something about scabs that I don't want to get into) and be ready to join the real world again. So here I sit for a few more days.

There are only so many soft foods you can eat.

First time that I have spent any real legnth of time by myself (the dog doesn't count) since the surgery. The manfolk has been very attentive and has only slipped away for bits at a time - usually to get or take care of something for me. This afternoon he left with the intent to get some work done, but tragedy interceded.

Yesterday a friend of his passed away. I had only met him briefly at party and don't really remember him, but it has hit the manfolk pretty hard. He and his friends are out this evening pouring some out for their lost friend. Pretty scary - 37 years old and died of liver failure and other complications. When we are this young you excpect sudden disease and accidental death - not your body giving up on you.

I am curious to see how this plays out - the manfolk and I haven't 'been through death' together and this is the type of thing that he takes internally. Hopefully he will let me in and share when he is ready. But for now they are out drowning their sorrows.

I am not one of the people who likes to dress in black and gather at the church to mourn the passing of others. When I go I want to have my organs donated, be cremated, and the people I love to throw a giant party. If funerals are for the living then let the living enjoy the memories and have a good time. I would like to think the people I love would want the same. Once I am gone - remember the good stuff. No need to stage a depressing memorial. Smile - dance - drink -- have one last shenanigan in honor of me.